Battlestar Rhapsody A parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, about the sci-fi TV series "Battlestar Galactica" (2003). Parody lyrics by the great Luke Ski © 2008 Luke Sienkowski Is this the real life, Living on Caprica. We're protected by The Battlestar Galactica. To our surprise, Look up to the skies and see… It's the genocide, of all humanity (Ho-lo-cost) The Cylons nuked the twelve, all to Hell. What T.F.? F.T.L.! Anywhere the fleet goes, doesn't really matter to me… To me. [Spoken:] Adama: Send them out to the black. Tell 'em we ain't coming back. Adama… is in command. His son Lee Apollo's rash, And he sometimes sports a 'stache. Starbuck's… bean in some hot water, But now she's in a latte trouble today. Adama, Oo-oo-oo-oooo, You're Olmos the man we need. If President Roslin puts you in detention, Carry on, carry on, 'cause you're really hot for teacher. [Spoken:] President Laura Roslin: Dr. Baltar! You have to write on the chalkboard, "I will not give the Cylons access to the Colonies defense mainframe" 50,000 times! Baltar, 'Doctor horrible', Gets distracted by some curves, This Gaius getting on my nerves. Marylin Mon-robot, with eternal life. When she dies she downloads to a Stepford Wife. Athena… plays Helo too… (Anywhere the fleet goes) Sharon had to cry. Eight balled when they said baby Boomer died. [Spoken:] Dr. Gaius Baltar: This world is a mess, and I just need to rule it. I see a little opera house inside my head. There were five, dressed in white, or perhaps it was Gandalf? Galen's gonna go nuts. Who ate all the donuts? Lee? Lee Apollo! Lee Apollo! Lee Apollo! Lee Apollo! Lee Apollo ate them whole. He's saying "D'oh!" "D'oh!" "D'oh!" "D'oh!" "D'oh!" Three's just a skin-job, nobody loves her. Three's just a skin-job, princess warrior. She drives a Hybrid, a prophecizor! [Spoken:] Hybrid: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42, end of line. Hera is, two years old, took a little stroll. Athena! No! The Six has got a hold. Let her go! Athena! This vision was foretold. Let her go! Athena! No need to go loco. Let her go! Just saying hello. Let her go! There I let her go. Hera Hera Hera Hera here I go! Bam! Bang! Bingo! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Eight! Adama Lee Adama Lee Adama Lee married a ho. You hear that song? I'm a Cylon all along? FRAK me! FRAK me! FRAK MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [Rockin theme to classic "Battlestar Galacitca" plays] Will the legend called Earth ever be where we land? Will we all be forced to repeat "By your command"? That tears it! Should have voted for Zarek! Right down the Hatch! He's like Dick Cheney with ethics. [Spoken:] Comm. Saul Tigh: Don't blame me, I fixed the election for Roslin. Joe: Want another Margarita, salt-eye? Oooo-oooo-oooo, FRAK yeah! FRAK yeah! [Spoken:] Comm. Saul Tigh: What'd you say about my eye?! That's Commander! Show some respect for the XO! Joe: More like the KO'ed. Comm. Saul Tigh: Huh?! Joe: Here's your whiskey, sir! Comm. Saul Tigh: That's more like it. We're all in a quorem, Anyone can see. Without resurrection, Nothing FRAKKIN' matters, to me. So say we a-all. [Spoken:] (whispered by all) fraaaaaaak!