Born To Lose
A parody of "Born To Run" by Bruce Springsteen, about being a loser.
Parody lyrics by the great Luke Ski
(c) 1996-2009 Luke Sienkowski

Note: I wrote this song during a period of my life in the mid-to-late 90's where it seemed that I was just catching crap from every conceivable angle. Writing this song was theraputic for me and helped me get through it. I cringe when I listen to it now for that reason, and because of the vocals. It wasn't until after the album was in the can that it even occurred to me that if I had sang the song doing a Bruce Springsteen impression, it would have sounded more powerful, and have been so much better vocally and comedically. It probably also would have had more longevity to it as well. Oh well, live and learn.


This song is the story of my life, and evey single part of it is absolutly true

Every day I grew up going to school
In my mid-west Wisconsin town
Everyone I met, everywhere I went
Everything tried to keep me down

But I got through once I had learned this
That knowledge of ignornace surely is powerful bliss

Whoa, when life throws you into the circular file
Just accept it, relax, and move on with a smile
It's an offer you just can't refuse
'Cause dorks like me, baby we were born to lose

Oh yes, we were

If paradise was just $3.00
I know I'd have $2.98
And if I left for work 2 hours early
I'd still be 15 minutes late

The best laid plans of mice and men
And of guys like me will most likely get screwed up again

Whoa, I tried real hard to impress my boss
Brushed my teeth, combed my hair, shaveed my face, and I flossed
But I got sent home for wearing the wrong shoes
'Cause dorks like me, baby we were born to lose

Now, you could get depressed and mad and frustrated
And let life get you down
'Cause the guy you want to be is Sean Connery
But you're still just Charlie Brown

Just accept early on that the trophy is gone
Laugh it off and prepare for the play
And when you fly by, give Lucy the finger
When she pulls the football away. Ha!

Oh, come on, guys, could we at least finish the song, please?
Thank you

I treat all woman with respect and equality
In hopes that I'll find a wife
But I know, chances are that I'll never
Get laid again for the rest of my life

So read the fine print on the golden rule
Where it says that you'll probably end up as someone's footstool

Whoa, they say nice guys always finish last place
That's not true, 'cause nice guys aren't even allowed in the race
We're on the sidelines with knots in our shoes
'Cause dorks like me, baby we were born to lose

Oh, Honey, dorks like me, baby we were born to lose

C'mon, Christine, dorks like us, baby we were born to lose

Woah, Loser!
Woah, Loo-ooo-ooo-ser!
Woah, Woah!
Woah, Loo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ser!


(Transcribed by Jered "Mr. Tuesday" Perez. Thanks!)