Everybody Get Weird
An Art Paul Schlosser Remix by the great Luke Ski
Based on material written and recorded by Art Paul Schlosser
© Art Paul Schlosser & Luke Sienkowski 2007

W, E, I, R, D!
Weeeiiird!
Are we weird? Are you weird?
Everybody get weird!

Today, and only today! Get this saw, and we'll also send you these three other items you don’t want, lacking the ability to be wise! Yes, my name is not wise. I'm Sam Foolish, and I've been standing in rain without a raincoat or umbrella. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, three headed cat claw eating monster was trying to chew Buffy's nails off. And so, I say if we turn the left knob a little to the right, but then again, some people are allergic to pepper. 60 years ago, a lady walked into a large church near Belleville. So never eat poison ivy in a Cadillac Rolls Royce's car. This and all other spaceships was brought to you by the CIA spying foundation, where spying is more than just a way of life. Sincerely, your friend, Pippi.

Are we weird? Are you weird?
Everybody get weird!

Colors by voice. Now just imagine, if you can't see what color looks like, what it would be if I describe it as voices. I think yellow, yellow would sound like this! And orange, orange would be kind of like this! And red, red would be like this, it would be kind of like this, you know? And, and brown, Brown would be more like this! Or black! Black! Blaaack! And uh, purple, purple, puuurplllle! And then grey would more like this, and then blue, blue would be more like this. I think? Well anyways, just imagine.

Are we weird? Are you weird?
Everybody get weird!

Dairy farming on Mars. Green cows, with 16 udders. They wear cosmic space hats. Their milk tastes like root beer. They purr like cats. They are 16,000 feet tall, but only an inch wide. Only an inch wide. Only an inch wiiide!

Are we weird? Are you weird?
Everybody get weird!

How about kazoo?... Wow!... That's like gravy on your biscuits!... Would you like to supersize that?... This kazoo solo is not solving your problem.

Join the Christmas book club! Our latest best sellers are: "Martyr trees are dying", "St. Nicholas is the Pope", "The red on Santa's clothes means he's a communist from the USSR", "Reindeer can't fly", "An old man running around in his red long johns is a disgrace to society", "Stay off the sauce, Rudolph", and "Yes Virginia, your Dad is lying".

Are we weird? Are you weird?
Everybody get weird!

Hey, now when you go and vote, I want you… You're brainwashed! I am brainwashing you on this tape! You must vote for Art Paul Schlosser! Say it with me,
Art Paul Schlosser! Art Paul Schlosser!
Art Paul Schlosser! Art Paul Schlosser!
Art Paul Schlosser! Art Paul Schlosser!
Art Paul Schlosser! Art Paul Schlosser!
Art Paul Schlosser! Art Paul Schlosser!
Art Paul Schlosser!

Are we weird? Are you weird?
Are we weird? Are you weird?
(W, E, I, R, D!)
Are we weird? Are you weird?
Everybody get weeeiiird!

Have fun, and keep your day job.