A parody of "Razzle Dazzle" from the musical "Chicago",
about running sci-fi & fandom conventions.
Parody lyrics by the great Luke Ski
© 2005-2010 Luke Sienkowski
Give ‘em the old fandom dazzle.
Fandom dazzle ‘em.
Promise a con that has three guests per nerd
And soon they all will be pre-registered
Give ‘em the old Star Trek star schlock,
Spock and Shatner ‘em
The more you charge the more they’ll want to pay.
What if your guests are broke and beaten?
Or all you got is just… Wil Wheaton?
And you’ll still make their day!
Give ‘em the old geek clan rock band, and,
Dungeon Dragon ‘em
Give ‘em a dance with geeks all frolicking,
And games where they’ll crown John Kovalik king,
Give ‘em the old Star Wars Tour whores
Peter Mayhew ‘em
How can they kvetch when they hear Chewie roar!
(*Sound effect of Chewbacca roaring 3 times*)
Luke and Carrie:
Badge sale income will be your annuals
When you are booking…
Luke:
…Anthony Daniels
Fandom dazzle ‘em
Just like Episode Four! (they laugh)
Luke and Carrie:
Give ‘em the old Art Show Auction,
Fen and furry ‘em
Panels on Buffy: “What could seal her doom?”
Let filkers sell outside the dealer room!
Give ‘em the old One-Ring Frodo,
Precious, precious ‘em.
You’ll redefine the con term “Masquerade”
Hobbit fans will chant “You’re the man,” you
Book Peter Jackson, just get…
…their Andrew!
Fandom dazzle ‘em
Luke and Carrie:
And then you’ll have it made!
Luke and Carrie:
Give ‘em the old…
…Slytherin’, Hogwarts.
Carrie: (background vocal extends phrase)
…Slytherin’, Hogwarts
Harry Potter ‘em
Show ‘em the first rate sorcerer you are!
Luke and Carrie:
Long as you’re flashy, and you’re on beat,
How can they spot you got no con suite?
Fandom dazzle ‘em
Fandom dazzle ‘em!
…Then pound drinks at the bar!