Hill
A parody of "Hell" by Squirrel Nut Zippers, about the TV show "King of the Hill"
Paordy lyrics by the great Luke Ski
(c) 1999-2009 Luke Sienkowski


Hank: "Yep."
Dale: "Yep."
Bill: "Yep."
Boomhauer: "Yep."

In Arlen, Texas,
That's where you'll find the upper middle class.
Journey to the alleyway,
And you'll will hear what Hank Hill will say:

Hank: "Boy, I tell you what.
My son Bobby's actin' like a nut.
Gonna set him straight tonight,
Because you know that the boy ain't right."

Now people listen, attentively,
To all the middle age senility.
I thought I had seen ultra-conservatives,
Until I heard the old men talking like this:

Hank: "Bobby told me he wants to buy a rap music album. I told him that kind of thing is for urban delinquents only."
Dale: "Rap music? Sounds a bit oxymoronic to me."
Bill: "Why don't they bring back good bands, like Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
Boomhauer: "Yeah, Skynyrd! WOOO! Play that dang ole' Freebird, man."

This is a place where Hank and Peggy,
Do their best to raise their son, Bobby.
It's hard to teach him to be a man,
When he's modeling wigs to help Luanne.

In Arlen, Texas,
That's where you'll find the upper middle class.
Journey to the alleyway,
And you'll will hear what Hank Hill will say:

Hank: "Ugh. Luanne kept me up all night listening to that 'alternative' music."
Dale: "That so-called 'alternative music' was invented by the U.S. Government as an experiment to get teenagers to subliminally give themselves over as organ donors to the space aliens. Kurt Cobain didn't commit suicide, he just knew too much."

Peggy, Bobby, Hank, Luanne, Boomhauer and Bill and Dale,
Hank's on his lawnmower every spring,
So the whole neighborhood knows he's the king!

Boy, I'll tell you what,
My son Bobby's actin' like a nut,
Gonna set him straight tonight (Peggy habla,)
Because you know that the boy ain't right. (Habla Espanol!)

Hank: "Now Bobby wants to take Swing dance lessons. When is that boy going to learn that men aren't supposed to dance?"
Bill: "Uh, I dunno, Hank. Private Francis out at the base is a really good dancer. Although, I'm technically not supposed to be asking him about it, and even if I did he's not supposed to tell me anyway."
Hank: "Shut up, Bill."

Now the B and the O and the O and the M and the H and the A and the U E R,
Women all, they are his,
But no one understands a word he says!
H and the A and the N and the K and the H and the I and the L L,
All night long, he'll complain,
And in the daylight he will sell propane!

Boomhauer: "Boy, I'll tell you what, man, you've got that dang ole' swing music, man, all kinds of kids up there dancing around wearing khaki jeans, pork pie hats, looking like a dang ole' Jim Carrey from The Mask. You've got a Zoot Suit Riot doin' the Stray Cat Strut, put a dang ole' lid on it, man. First you've gotta jump jive and ya wail and ya jump jive and ya wail and you jump jive and your dang ole' wa-ail, man."


(Transcribed by Tony Troxell. Thanks!)