I Kissed A Squirrel
A parody of "I Kissed A Girl" by Jill Sobule, about characters from the improv video series "Ray TV", created by Brody Railton and Michael Sienkowski
Parody lyrics by the great Luke Ski
(c) 1995-2009 Luke Sienkowski

Note: This song is about, and sung by Birdseed Bobby and Dusty, characters created and performed by Brody Railton and Michael Sienkowski, from the improv video series "Ray TV". The number of people who actually saw "Ray TV" outside of those directly involved could probably be counted on one hand. So no, you're not going to, nor are you supposed to understand anything in this song. Ironically, out of all the people I've parodied over the years, this song, the one that makes no sense to no one, is the only one that actually got heard by the artist I was parodying, thanks to the interwebs. I met Jill Sobule at Summerfest in Milwaukee shortly after, and she was very nice and was flattered. I bought her CD, and she autographed it with the message, "I guess you've made it when they parody you, except I'm poor and still relatively unknown." (Addendum: Recently the Fat Boys heard my song "All You Can Tweet" which was also awesome.).


Bobby: C'mon, Dusty, let's show these homeboys how to rock!

Dusty: OK, Bobby!

Bobby: So, all you infidels better shut up and listen!

Dusty came over and told me about Shwabby
She's such hairy Bohemian slob
Dumb as a hammer and a monkey
But she makes some awesome rice

So I opened up and told him about Scroto
How he flew to Jamaica with a doggie named Toto
And a Libertarian Velociraptor
I'm aroused (Dusty: Yeah, me too)

So we ran 'round the bend
We're gonna start a brand new trend
With our little rodent friend (Viking Squirrel: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo)

I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)
I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)

At the park it's to our liking
To kiss a squirrel that looks like a viking (Viking Squirrel: ANAL!)
Also makes tasty entrees
They're the San Fransisco treat (Dusty: Ding ding) Nice

So I wash it down with a tall can of water
With potatoes and Jell-O for a side order
I pitty the poor fool who tries to steal my rice
(Dusty: Is it time for Puppet Show?)

The whole thing made us sick
(Dusty: Don't ya hate coughing up chew toys?)
So we fed the leftovers
To Hojo Hockeystick
(Viking Squirrel: I am the Viking Squirrel! I love you, Birdseed Bobby!)

I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)
(Dusty: Is it time for Movie Review?)
I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)
I love you too, Squirrel.

I kissed a squirrel here in my palm
It's just like kissing Dusty's Mom (Dusty: Thanks, Mom)
I know it cost over $2.42, but it was worth it

Hunga hunga hai hai
Hunga hunga hoobie dabba hoobie dabba
Hunga hunga hai hai
Hunga hunga hoobie dabba

And we'll sniff at their butts (Viking Squirrel: EWWWWWWW)
We can eat their acorns
And they'll eat our nuts
(Dusty: I don't have any nuts, I'm a puppet!)

I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)
For the 37th time
I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)
And I'm gonna do it again, too, Dusty
I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)
(Reporter: I came here to shoot crap)
I kissed a squirrel (I kissed a squirrel)

I kissed a squirrel
It was so tragic
It felt just like CyberFote magic, but better (CyberFote: I am CyberFote)
I kissed a squirrel

When I kiss a squirrel
I'll transform into a giant mutant monster
Soon to become master of the world, ha ha ha ha
(For the first time) (Dusty: I wanna go watch WCW)

Until next time, remember (I kissed a squirrel)
Hens love roosters
Mike loves Schwabby (Won't be the last time)
Everybody else
Loves Birdseed Bobby (Dusty: And Dusty!)

Bobby: Dusty, shut your ricehole, or I'll take you onto that Jungle Gym and make you a man!

Dusty: Sorry, Bobby.

(Viking Squirrel: Anal! We love Anal! Got to get the Anal! WOO!)


(Transcribed by Jered "Mr. Tuesday" Perez. Thanks!)