Just Mister Londo
A parody of David Lee
of “Just A Gigolo” (originally by Louis Prima),
character Londo Mollari from the sci-fi TV show “Babylon
Parody lyrics by the great Luke Ski
© 2008 Luke Sienkowski
[SFX: Ambient restaurant noise]
Vir: Londo?... Londo?... Londo?... Oh! There you are. I brought the Spoo you asked for, aged just how you like it.
Londo: Bah. Take it away. That’s not what I really want.
Vir: Well, what do you want?
Londo: I want my friends back, Vir. Everybody sees me as some kind of monster now. It doesn’t matter if I’m Ambassador, Planetary Security Advisor, Prime Minister, or even Emperor Mollari. To them, now, I’m just Mister Londo.
Vir: Just Mister Londo?
Londo: Yes, just Mister Londo.
I’m just Mister
Londo, and on the
People know the part I am playing.
Gambling all my credits, girls who like my status,
In my bed they’re staying.
In the Grand Old Days, I was decadent in ways
That would disgrace a pastor.
But today here I know,
I am just Mister Londo,
The fan-haired Ambass’dor.
[spoken:] Back me up, Vir.
Mister Londo, and I found
out back at home,
Cartagia’s brain was a mess.
I had to make him dead, ‘cause I’d rather be ahead
In the polls than on his desk.
In the future far, when I’m strangled by G’Kar, *gack!*
What will they say about me?
When the end comes I know,
I was just Mister Londo.
Life goes on without me.
Mollari. Yes, that’s me, Mollari. Mollari wants glory.
IIIII live for Centauri.
My Centauri, sweet Centauri.
Won’t some of my wives, have a drink with my mistress?
Have some Madeira, Adira!
Mollari, drinks heavily, til my Drakh keeper passes out. Hey Vir!
You know what else
perplexes me? How come there are dozens of comedy song parodies about
Star Trek and Star Wars, but next to none about Babylon Five? I mean
really? It’s been fifteen years and there aren’t
even a whole
album’s worth of tracks yet. Someone by now could have done a
about how we saved Centauri and freed the Narn, to the tune by
Sandler, “Peace with G’Kar! I’m making
peace with G’Kar!”
Vir: Or a parody of the Beach Boys “Kokomo” about the “Zocalo”!
Londo: Yes, exactly! Or there could have been an original reggae song called “Smokin’ Refa”!
Vir: Smokin’ Refa was Morden I could handle!
Londo: Ah! Refa and Morden! Very funny Vir! But still, no songs, and no friends! I’m all alone! All by myself! There is no one here beside me! I want my friends back!
Sheridan, Marcus, G’Kar, Zack, Ivonova,
Franklin, Delenn, Garabaldi, and Kosh!
Mollari! IIIII’m Londo Mollari!
Centauri! Minbari don’t like me. So sorry. So starry.
IIIII’m so sad and lonely, and buffoonish, and overweight. IIIII’m so sad and lonely.
Won’t someone from this station, please be a friend to me?
‘Cause I ain’t so bad.
This really gets old!
It’s just so
old, that’s it’s almost Jurasik!
Oh, what I need, what I really want and need,
Need a small, bald, pony-tailed, mama,
Great Maker! Ain’t got nobody, no friends at all! Kosh, help me out!
Bo-dilly-bop bid-del-lee-yo do-bop, do-waaaaaah!!! Yeah!!!