A Visit From the great Luke Ski

Ian: (speaking to the MusicIANs) All right guys, that's it, that's a wrap on the album!

Band: (various positive reactions)

Ian: I'm going to close up here, I'll see you guys at the wrap party.

Band: (various farewells)

(SFX: Sound of the band exiting, Ian cleaning things up for several seconds, sound of door opening and closing as Luke Ski enters frantically.)

Ian: I'll just, uh, pack up some instruments here or something...

Luke: Okay, Ian, I'm here,

Ian: Oh, Luke, uh, hi!

Luke: All ready for the big epic closing track of the album!

Ian: Well actually, we just finished-

Luke: I got a whole notebook full of ideas right here for Insane Ian's Epic Video Game Medley Part II!

Ian: Uh…

Luke: I got 'em all written up here, check this out! We start with arcade classics, like this one, you go…

(Luke then launches into excitedly singing all his song parodies to Ian a capella, improvising transitions and explanations. Ian listens and reacts audibly to them, hesitantly with a lot of hemming and hawing, because he does not want to hurt Luke's feelings by telling him the album is over and his ideas are not good.)

[to the tune of "Rock On"]
Hey kid, come and play, Zaxxon, ooh, all day,
You'll crash in 2 seconds from the play control,
'cause you'll never get the hang of diagonal scroll,
Lose every quarter in your roll, Zaxxon!

[to the tune of "Hip to be Square"]
My name is Q*bert the orange Noser,
And when I get killed, I swear,
Dodging snakes and monsters,
On pyramidal stairs,
Yelling out profanities,
It's hip to jump on squares!
It's hip to jump on squares!

[To the tune of "Jam On It"]
Shinobi! Shinobi! Shino-no-no-no-no-nobi!
When you feel like a ninja attack tonight,
And you're faster than a Jedi named Obi!...

[to the tune of "The Great Pretender"]
Oh yes, I'm the great Defender.
Defending this planet on the brink.
Picking up astronauts, unless they all get caught,
And I run out of tokens at the roller rink.

[To the tune of "Da Doo Run Run"]
Now I'm a circus clown just digging up your lawn.
Mr. Do run run run! Mr. Do run run!
And I'll keep it up till all the cherries are gone.
Mr. Do run run run! Mr. Do run run!

[to the tune of "Rock Star"]
Now I just wanna be a Sinistar,
With a robotic voice that's heard near and far,
I'm made from the sinisite crystals they give,
And once they're done I'll tell you, "Beware, I Live"

Luke: Hey Ian, help me out with this one, gimmie a little Bobby McFerrin, 'kay?

[to the tune of "Don't Worry, Be Happy"]
Here's a game for kids and teens,
Where you're a mouse bouncing on trampolines.
Don't worry… Play Mappy.
Retrieving stolen items for fun,
From a bunch of cat burglars, what a pun!
Don't worry… Play Mappy.
Don't worry play Mappy now.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,
Don't worry.
meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,
Play Mappy!
meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Luke: And then we can get the Stacey to come in and sing this one…

[to the tune of "Sk8er Boi"]
He was the Paperboy,
A bee swarm escaper boy,
Neighbors admired his left hand lob.
Riding his bike so fast,
But never through the grass,
The Newspaper died and he lost his job.

Luke: And then we have some hot back-up dancing chicks dressed as a pickle, a hot dog, and a fried egg come out and start dancing and singing like this! Ohh-

(Luke starts singing the breakdown part of "U Can't Touch This". We hear him dancing as he does this. Panning Luke left and right as if he is moving past Ian while Ian is speaking would be a great effect here.)

Ian: Thsi is audio! How are we going to have backupdancers in audio?

Luke: …and then you go "STOP!... BURGERTIME!"

[To the tune of "Bingo"]
There was a penguin pushing ice and Pengo was his name-o
P.E.N.G.O.!, P.E.-… (Ian interrupts Luke)

Ian: LUKE! Luke, Luke, Just how many songs are in this medley?

Luke: 27.

Ian: Of course there are.

Luke: Is there any other number?

Ian: There is literally an infinite supply of other numbers.

Luke: So you think we need more?

Ian: NO! No. Uh, can you just give me the gist of the rest of them here?

Luke: Uh, sure, uh, next we'll have a parody of "Into The Groove" about "In The Groove", a parody of the Popeye song about "Popeye", a parody of "Dead or Alive" about "Dead or Alive", a parody of "Bust A Move" about "Bust A Move"…

Ian: (under his breath) Nice to see some originality there...

Luke: And then some Black Eyed Peas, like, "My Bump! My Bump 'N Jump, and Bump! My Bump 'N Jump, and Bump! My lovely Buggy jumps!"…

And then we do a disco thing, "Awwwww- BREAK OUT!"…

And then like Miami Sound Machine, "Come on everybody, play Congo Bongo! Ripping off Donkey Kong just can't be wrong-o"…

And then the Beach Boys, like, "I wish we all could play California Speed!"…

And then Ozzy, "Riding for a fare, in a Crazi Taxi!"…

And then Rowlf Harris, like, "Play some Kangaroo now, sport, Play some Kangaroo now!"…

"Burning Down The House" by Talking Heads becomes (singing) "Flying 'round in Joust!"

Bowling for Soup's "1985" becomes "1942"...'Summer of '69" turns into "Area 51"...

T-Rex! "Get it on… Playin' Pong… Pass the bong!..."

Limp Bizkit playing Super Mario Brothers 3! "I did it all for Tanooki! (Come on!) Tanooki! (Come on!) And you can shake that koopa!"

And then, [starts singing the dings like Vanilla Ice did] "Ice, Ice Climber"…

Ian: LUKE! All right, Luke, just...just stop right there. Look, I gotta be honest with you. The album is done. And even if it wasn't, I appreciate all the work you did on these...

Luke: (interrupts) I held off my wedding another 6 weeks just to work on this.

Ian: I...appreciate your tenacity...but seriously. These are terrible ideas.

Luke: Terrible, as in ironically good in a way that hipsters will approve of?

Ian: No, I mean, just face value horrible. I'm sorry.

Luke: Oh… (pause) …I only had one more left to go on my list…

Ian: (sighs loudly) …Oh, all right. What is it?

Luke: Well, you need to help me here, do this part here.

Ian: Oh, I can actually play this on piano, hang on a second, let me try this...

[To the tune of "Total Eclipse Of The Heart"]

Ian: Turn around,

Luke: Grab your steering wheel and turn around

and hit the gas so you won't fall off the Rainbow Road

Ian: Turn around,

Luke: Grab your steering wheel and turn around

and hit the gas and you'll escape banana peels from Toad

Ian: Turn around, Shy Guys.

Luke: Every now and then I grab a block.

Ian: Turn around, Shy Guys.

Luke: Every now and then I get a shock!

Which will turn me small, oh my,

Then get flattened by my brother.

That Luigi, he thinks he's so sly,

But Bob-Ombs, I've got another.

I never hit the brake button, I always accel,

And thanks to Wario, I've really been through shell.

LS&II: "A-here we go" outta sight!

The Mushroom Cup will start tonight!

That gold trophy is mine all right!

Luke: Once upon a time, over barrels I jumped,

LS&II: But now I'm racing, so just press start.

Nothing I can do,

I'm playing some Mario Kart.

Ian: Turn around, Shy Guys!

Turn around, Shy Guys!

(music fades out)